Game Review - Dying Light

Hello Everyone Morbidly Deceased Here...
So I failed rather miserably to keep my goal of one post every Friday, so that's why today i'm going to have a post today to make up for it. So let's try this schedule again.
If you couldn't tell by the title, this is a game review... of Dying Light... Anyways...

To get this out of the way, yes, i like this game, it's zombies and parkour, it's fun. Although it does have that rather strange feature of battery+wire+weapon=LIGHTNING! for some reason, but it's better than Dead Island's Deodorant+Deodorant+Duct Tape=Deobomb? If that were the case, TSA would have some REAL issues.

Another issue I have with this game is that it's explanation for the stereotypical zombie classes, (i.e. basic, running, spitting, slow-moving-but-strong, complete and utter tank, and zombie security alarm), are all because some scientist gave a couple zombies meat filled with the potential cure. So that's odd, cure them once, shame for humanity, cure them twice, it works fine? While we're here, let's touch base on one thing i never got about the zombie apocalypse, do people really think that a cure for zombies wouldn't just kill 'em outright, their already dead, you can't bring them back, okay maybe that last part is from The Walking Dead but whatever.

But enough about that, i'm not here to rip apart this game, that comes later. I'm looking at you Dead Island...

Dying Light is a decent game, i say decent because the plots a little cliche, but hey at least you get to work for the potentially evil organization, and that's a plus. The parkour definitely makes the game fun, especially with some of the upgrades you can get, which sort of makes up for the lack of being able to drive. Not to mention that the game offers to completely different single player experiences depending on the time of day. When the sun's up, it's smash-around-runny time, but when it's night time, run like Hell because that place is probably safer right now. It only sucks when you stumble upon, and trust you will stumble, a zombie that ate too much i guess and can explode when you such as breath on it. Which is honestly what lost me the most xp. OH YEAH, that's another thing, when you get shot or stabbed or bit to death, or fall of a ridge, you lose your xp, thanks game, SCREW YOU TOO! Anyways, i don't what to rate this thing, but in all, wait and hope Dead Island 2 is good, maybe Yager can do a better job, or maybe it'll be depressing, like Spec Ops: The Line, which would still be better than Dead Island. Long story short Screw Dead Island. Wait, what game was i supposed to be talking about again?

That's All For Now...

Oh, no, wait, if you're looking for more posts gaming related, check out one of my friends blogs.

http://gschuga-video-game-reviews.blogspot.com, almost forgot about that.

Top 5 Zombie Pet Peeves

Hello Everyone
Morbidly Deceased Here...

 So I figured since hadn't post in awhile, okay, i'll back it up a little. Sorry about the lack of posts recently, as in all of last month, school was wrapping up and i really needed to focus on that, but now my goal is one post every Friday from now on, this one's just a little early because I had to this sometime or I'd never get around to it.

So, I figured with this long break I had, I should really find out what bugs me about the zombie sub-genre, so here's the top 5, and yes there is some overlap.

5. Zombies Don't Swallow
 

Okay, yeah it sounds a little weird, but I'm not kidding. Here. don't believe me, here's a quote from "Everything You Need To Know About Zombies" by Matt Mogk (The founder and head of the Zombie Research Society), "Though seemingly simple, the act of swallowing is a complex neuromuscular activity controlled by several different parts of the brain. As it's commonly believed that the zombie brain is low-functioning comparing to that of the average human, evidenced in part by the lack of speech, swallowing may prove to complex a task for a zombie." Maybe this is just my personal preference, but if your going to eat me alive, swallow, show a little respect, don't just chew, seriously man, it toke me 16 years to make all this. Anyways...

4. Zombie Misconceptions

 Although I could make a series of posts about this, I'll probably stick to just one for now. Jesus. Was. Not. A. Zombie. Kapeesh? He was what Matt Mogk like to refer to as a "Beer-google Zombie" and Jesus is on the same list as Frankenstein's Monster and Demons (Thank you Evil Dead). All i'm saying is that just because a guy comes back from the dead doesn't make him a zombie. So seriously officer, i did not eat my neighbor! Oops, think i was on a different subject there.

3. Nazi Zombies

Uggggggggghhhhhhhhhh!!! Nuff' said. Next!

2. Brains!

This annoys me mainly because this isn't even how the cannon was. This was something brought upon by "Return of the Living Dead", which was actually the first zombie movie i ever saw, and it scared the living daylights out of me.

Then again, "Zombies want livers! Alcoholics are safe!" doesn't really have a ring to it.

1. The Walking Dead TV Show

Okay, THIS definitely is a series of posts. "But Morbid," you may ask, if you actually cared, "I thought you liked The Walking Dead?" I do, but my issues with the show is a list of it's own. Luckily for me, I started watching the show via it's second season, so it only got better from there no matter which way i went, but there's still problems galore. The mid-season finales always seems to be better than the finales, the show splits itself in two to pad out length, and they start killing off people in stupid ways the further you go in the show. Get back to the zombies for Christ's sake! No Christ's not a zombie, we've been over this! AHHHHH!

That's All For Now... I'll try not to flip out...

Apocalypse How?- Pt. 8- Zombies

Hello Everyone
Morbidly Deceased Here,
So, i'm sure most of you assumed that this would be the first one on the list, assuming you knew about this series beforehand, but I figured i'd save it for later.

So, as for apocalypses, this can be fairly easy, or extremely hard, depends on if it's a book or a video game. Let's start with the classic zombie, it's slow moving, eats flesh, and can only be killed with fire or a bullet to the head. Now let's say the world knows what zombies are, much like our world, then killing the undead would be easy, we'd know how to do it. I know it sounds stupid for someone to assume that the one guy over there trying to eat someone is a zombie and not high on bath salts, but when there's a swarm of them, you can be sure that not everyone wanted to get high. We're willing to believe insane creatures like zombies, and if you don't believe, look at the salem witch hunts, not everyone who accused someone believed in witches, but obviously someone did, or else the whole mess wouldn't have happened. Now, if we didn't know what zombies were, we'd practically be doomed, humanity would be much more likely to fall.

Now, onto the video game zombie, the type that as long as you hit it with enough ammunition/knives/coatracks, you can kill it. But there is a downside, mainly, the variation of zombies. Sure, a hoard of the undead's bad enough, but imagine dealing with something like this:

One explodes and kills you instantly, the other slices you to death, long story short, FUN!!

Although the worst type I've seen would either be "The Blackest Night" or "Marvel Zombies Vol. 1" story arcs from the comics. Each of these include superheroes and supervillains coming back and wrecking havoc on the living. Yeah, that's even worse. Kinda self explanatory.

So, i have no idea which apocalypse i'm doing next but if you have an idea, let me know. I'll try to return this to an avery Friday series.

   That's All For Now...

Apocalypse How?-Pt. 7-Mass Sterilization

Hello Everyone
Morbidly Deceased Here,
    So this one's a little obscure, but it has been talked about before. So there's that. Before i do anything else, let me explain what this is. One day humanity wakes up with the ability, or defect, of no longer being able to have children, for both genders. It'll be a slow but agonizing apocalypse. There would be no way to fight it on a citizen level, instead it would be scientists trying to clone or synthesize or breed humans via unnatural methods. Meanwhile, the rest of humanity would start to panic, realizing that they are about it in terms of the human population. But hey, your life wouldn't necessarily be in danger, until people take it too far and decide they're going to die soon, and then the looting begins.

   That's All For Now...

Apocalypse How?-Pt. 6- Dinosaurs

Yes, Dinosaurs
Hello Everyone Morbidly Deceased Here

So, this apocalypse is a little odd and a little questionable as an apocalypse. Mainly because dinosaurs spreading world wide would be noticed before they overwhelm humanity. It would end almost as quickly as it began because let's face it, if we can take down elephants and tigers we can take down dinosaurs. But lets ignore the spread of this apocalypse and instead focus on the more impossible. All the dinosaurs just come back, simultaneously and almost everywhere. This is still probably still easier to fight than a robot uprising, but the average person would most likely have a much harder time than the military. Now, i'm planning on starting another series about how to fight certain apocalypses sometime in the future but, i touch lightly on it now. Avoid wide open spaces and such because of flying dinosaurs, avoid the seas because there are dinos that can eat sharks, and most of all, have a gun. But one glaring hole in this type of apocalypse is that eventually the climate and mostly full, if not overfilled, carrying capacity of the world would cause the the new predators to potentially eat themselves out. If i'm not mistaken, the age of mammals is full of much tinier creatures than that of the age of reptiles. But say this isn't a problem, then it'll be a pretty interesting fight.

   That's All For Now...

A Milestone

Hello Everyone,
Morbidly Deceased Here,
   I was going to do another rant when i saw that as of yesterday, the blog reached 500 views. Which is awesome! I'd like to thank both everyone new to the blog, and anyone whose been here since the beginning.  thank you for taking time out your day to here what i have to say about the end of the world. If it weren't for all of you, i would have not kept this blog going after it was no longer for a grade. Thanks again!
   That's All For Now...

Apocalypse How?-Pt. 5-Robot Uprising

Hello Everyone
Morbidly Deceased Here,
   In honor of this movie, let's talk about your toaster taking over your town.

Well, since i don't know much about the plot, and honestly, i don't want to spoil anything so let's instead talk about terminator. Plain and simple, and program become sentient and decides to wipe out humanity. Or maybe giant robots come from outer space to fight over some sort of ancient artifact, i'm looking at you Michael Bay. 

Long story short, this A.I. either builds more of itself or gives other robots sentience, or in the further future converts other A.I.'s to it's cause. Either way, this would be a harder apocalypse to fight than any zombie. When your enemy can take several different shapes, and has above-human intelligence, AND is made of metal, you're doomed. Well, unless you have a lot of bombs, or bullets, or EMPs. So good luck. I don't much else to say about this.

   That's All For Now...