A Rant On The Walking Dead- Killing Off Characters

Hello Everyone Morbidly Deceased Here
Yeah, been kind of waiting to do this one.

Oh, and if you haven't finished watching season 5 of the walking, major spoilers ahead.

Before i go any further, when it comes to the walking dead, it's not why they kill of the characters that usually bugs me, it's HOW, and sometimes when, and maybe who... Let's start with Tyrese, that guy from the comics who should've shown up season one and instead waited till season 3. His death was just awful, he just had to break down at one of the strangest moments possible, you know, because having him break down after someone tried to kill Judith or when Liz killed her sister would've made too much sense. And he then gets attacked and bit by a zombified child. But it's not that either, it's the fact that zombie's can somehow be surprising when they moan as soon as they see people. They're not cognizant, they can't surprise people, at leas not five season in when they can no longer get back form a fall like they did in season 2 or climb fences like they did in season one. The Walking Dead also seems to have an impeccable sense of not knowing how to time things, The Governor  should've been dead a season before he was finally offed. Beth shouldn't have died for Noah, just to have Noah to die half a season later.

Ah yes, and that, that gets annoying when the character you wanted to live, dies, and when the character you wanted to die, lives. It may be a messed up world, but if anything, it should make it easier to kill the dirt bags and wimps, to put THAT lightly. So in conclusion, there might be another rant on it's way...

That's All For Now...

Apocalypse How? - Pt. 9 - Man Eating Mermaids/The Great Flood

Sorry, just had to let that out.
Hello Everyone Morbidly Deceased Here
Once again I delve into the obscure, mainly, i have nothing better to do.
This was one of my friend's recommendations, and honestly idk where to go with this but, here we go.

So, um, ugh...
Say mermaids exist, well, now imagine they now want to eat people, so they come up to the surface in swarms. Well they wouldn't get far if their stuck being in salt water, but if they can go into lakes, well, i guess all fisherman will be sad. OH, no, wait, i forget. Most products and supplies are shipped over seas! So if mermaids start sinking humanities ships, supplies would have a harder time going across oceans. China and the U.S.'s trade route would be severely slowed, that could cause some issues, if not economic depression, well okay, maybe not that. But mermaids ransacking ships would definitely slow the world down. Cruises also might be a thing of the past. Although, maybe those will turn into hunting expeditions. Well, i feel like this was kind of short, how about a double header.

Next Up, let's stick with this water theme shall we?
The talk biblical, without actual being biblical. Well, sort of...

The Great Flood, you know, the one that destroyed man kind except for a couple people? Yeah well, long story short, unless the world builds giant boats like in 2012, the movie i hope that was obvious, then you're doomed. Trust me, your kayak or canoe or even cruise ship, actually, okay, maybe a cruise ship, those didn't exist during biblical times, but they might just work. I know the flood wasn't sudden, it was 40 days and nights of raining, but small boat wouldn't last long, simply not enough supplies. Although with only cruise ships going around, that would mean that the only land animals that would survive would be cockroaches and rats. You know, besides humans. We'd be stuck fishing for the rest of our lives. Unless a man named Noah decides to build an arc and save two of every creature.

And Now... Combining The Apocalypse...
Yeah, I just wanted to make this difficult...

So if we were to combine these apocalypses, then we'll be dead, well, okay, maybe not THAT dead, if that makes sense. We'll still have cruise ships hopefully, and well, one apocalypse would cancel out the other. The flood lasted for a year and 10 days, that might be stretching it quite a bit for a cruise ship, just send criminals over board, or just send everyone over board. A year would definitely be enough time for the man eating mermaids to wear you thin anyways. And then the waters would receed, and if your ship happens to be above land, then you win, any mermaids that had moved in are now stuck on land, they should be easy to kill then. So all in all, remember this.

When water apocalypses abound, book a cruise, and bring a gun. I really wished i could've made that rhyme. I got it!

When mermaids abound, get the f**k out.

That's All For Now...

Game Review - The Walking Dead Season 1

Hello Everyone Morbidly Deceased Here!
Once again i missed a Friday post, so today I'll make it up to you, two posts today.

Now time to get into the game i want to talk about. This game was fun, depressing, but fun, oddly enough... It's probably the closest thing a console can get to point and click, and tell-tale games seem to be the only one keeping that alive.

Gameplay:
The way this game works is that it's full of choice, and the usually kind that come with the territory, choices that can actually make a difference. Speech in itself is a choice, you're character, Lee Everett, have five different option when it comes to speech, let the timer beneath the speech box run out, stay silent, be for something, be against something, or be neutral, and that's stating it simply. There are also several moments where you have to make a snap decision on who lives and who dies. Now, the games lack of action, it's all quick-time-events, might turn some people away, but honestly i didn't need all that. The graphics are simplistic and styled, but i'm not saying they're bad. The only reason ran like crap at some points was because i had bought it used. In all, though, this game was an exercise in futility, and i'm not sure if that's good or bad.

My Opinion:
I liked this game, but like i said before, it was an exercise in futility. I tried to save one character so many times, only for him to die, i tried again, and he still died. I had helped a character every episode of the game, except once, and when asked him to help me find someone, he wouldn't because of just one incident. But the game does a great job of throwing all your inhumanties from the rest of the season back in your face at the last episode. And i was tempted to go back and see if i could get my character to speak his mind. The person who throws it all back at you caused so many people to die, that it would've been nice to let him be eaten alive or something like that. But, despite this game being one about choice, it doesn't have much replayability, it's simple to see that some of your choices might not have matter to much when you see if you saved someone they would've died anyways. Onto the last part.

400 Days DLC:
Here's the part of this game i liked the most, and honestly wished there was more of. You play through five small stories of five characters, and your choices then determine whether or not your characters decide to join a new group like that of Alexandria, but not Alexandria because then you would've seen those characters. Each character gives you a moral choice, lie or don't about shooting someone, kill this man, or that one, and you don't know the repercussions until the very end, although this part fell apart a little, i did everything right, but for some reason, the guy who  said he'd stick with the group stays behind while the rest of the group leaves, there was also a direct part where the game contradicted me in the automated speech, while during the free choice part i was saying the exact opposite. In all though, i liked it.

That's All For Now...

Explaining World War Z's Choices

Hello Everyone Morbidly Deceased Here

Here's post 2 for the day since i didn't post last week. If you couldn't whats going on in this post, look at the title, see? So, let's talk about "It's Brad Pitt In A Zombie Movie"

Choice In Zombies:
So, major difference here, world war z by max brooks has shambling zombies, while the movie's run. Well, okay there are bigger differences than this, but i'l save those for later. Actually, the more i think about it, it seems less and less common for a shambling zombie on the silver screen. Then again, a mob of running zombies goes much quicker than regular zombies, and thus cuts screen time. So there's that.

The Plot:
Well, isn't this completely different, instead of it being about several peoples stories given via an inter view with a journalist, we have Brad Pitt, looking for a zombie cure, or maybe it was origin? But in the end it ends up being about a cure, well that's different.

The Ending:
Ah yes, no cure, but remember kids, inject yourself with a deadly disease and zombies wouldn't bother you, now you'll just be sick. Sadly STD'S still won't help you in this situation, but i think i digress. The ending left room for a sequel, something the book didn't do. Not to mention there's actually a way to hide yourself from zombies, and kill them that way. At least it the book they said, "You know what, we work together, we can kill these things." And next you know they're forming walls of zombies. In all though, wtf? World War Z should've been a tv show, it's too long and full of stories to be a movie, they tried and failed. It was a great ZOMBIE movie. But a bad book adaptation as book adaptations go, and those can be pretty bad.

That's All For Now...

Game Review - Dying Light

Hello Everyone Morbidly Deceased Here...
So I failed rather miserably to keep my goal of one post every Friday, so that's why today i'm going to have a post today to make up for it. So let's try this schedule again.
If you couldn't tell by the title, this is a game review... of Dying Light... Anyways...

To get this out of the way, yes, i like this game, it's zombies and parkour, it's fun. Although it does have that rather strange feature of battery+wire+weapon=LIGHTNING! for some reason, but it's better than Dead Island's Deodorant+Deodorant+Duct Tape=Deobomb? If that were the case, TSA would have some REAL issues.

Another issue I have with this game is that it's explanation for the stereotypical zombie classes, (i.e. basic, running, spitting, slow-moving-but-strong, complete and utter tank, and zombie security alarm), are all because some scientist gave a couple zombies meat filled with the potential cure. So that's odd, cure them once, shame for humanity, cure them twice, it works fine? While we're here, let's touch base on one thing i never got about the zombie apocalypse, do people really think that a cure for zombies wouldn't just kill 'em outright, their already dead, you can't bring them back, okay maybe that last part is from The Walking Dead but whatever.

But enough about that, i'm not here to rip apart this game, that comes later. I'm looking at you Dead Island...

Dying Light is a decent game, i say decent because the plots a little cliche, but hey at least you get to work for the potentially evil organization, and that's a plus. The parkour definitely makes the game fun, especially with some of the upgrades you can get, which sort of makes up for the lack of being able to drive. Not to mention that the game offers to completely different single player experiences depending on the time of day. When the sun's up, it's smash-around-runny time, but when it's night time, run like Hell because that place is probably safer right now. It only sucks when you stumble upon, and trust you will stumble, a zombie that ate too much i guess and can explode when you such as breath on it. Which is honestly what lost me the most xp. OH YEAH, that's another thing, when you get shot or stabbed or bit to death, or fall of a ridge, you lose your xp, thanks game, SCREW YOU TOO! Anyways, i don't what to rate this thing, but in all, wait and hope Dead Island 2 is good, maybe Yager can do a better job, or maybe it'll be depressing, like Spec Ops: The Line, which would still be better than Dead Island. Long story short Screw Dead Island. Wait, what game was i supposed to be talking about again?

That's All For Now...

Oh, no, wait, if you're looking for more posts gaming related, check out one of my friends blogs.

http://gschuga-video-game-reviews.blogspot.com, almost forgot about that.

Top 5 Zombie Pet Peeves

Hello Everyone
Morbidly Deceased Here...

 So I figured since hadn't post in awhile, okay, i'll back it up a little. Sorry about the lack of posts recently, as in all of last month, school was wrapping up and i really needed to focus on that, but now my goal is one post every Friday from now on, this one's just a little early because I had to this sometime or I'd never get around to it.

So, I figured with this long break I had, I should really find out what bugs me about the zombie sub-genre, so here's the top 5, and yes there is some overlap.

5. Zombies Don't Swallow
 

Okay, yeah it sounds a little weird, but I'm not kidding. Here. don't believe me, here's a quote from "Everything You Need To Know About Zombies" by Matt Mogk (The founder and head of the Zombie Research Society), "Though seemingly simple, the act of swallowing is a complex neuromuscular activity controlled by several different parts of the brain. As it's commonly believed that the zombie brain is low-functioning comparing to that of the average human, evidenced in part by the lack of speech, swallowing may prove to complex a task for a zombie." Maybe this is just my personal preference, but if your going to eat me alive, swallow, show a little respect, don't just chew, seriously man, it toke me 16 years to make all this. Anyways...

4. Zombie Misconceptions

 Although I could make a series of posts about this, I'll probably stick to just one for now. Jesus. Was. Not. A. Zombie. Kapeesh? He was what Matt Mogk like to refer to as a "Beer-google Zombie" and Jesus is on the same list as Frankenstein's Monster and Demons (Thank you Evil Dead). All i'm saying is that just because a guy comes back from the dead doesn't make him a zombie. So seriously officer, i did not eat my neighbor! Oops, think i was on a different subject there.

3. Nazi Zombies

Uggggggggghhhhhhhhhh!!! Nuff' said. Next!

2. Brains!

This annoys me mainly because this isn't even how the cannon was. This was something brought upon by "Return of the Living Dead", which was actually the first zombie movie i ever saw, and it scared the living daylights out of me.

Then again, "Zombies want livers! Alcoholics are safe!" doesn't really have a ring to it.

1. The Walking Dead TV Show

Okay, THIS definitely is a series of posts. "But Morbid," you may ask, if you actually cared, "I thought you liked The Walking Dead?" I do, but my issues with the show is a list of it's own. Luckily for me, I started watching the show via it's second season, so it only got better from there no matter which way i went, but there's still problems galore. The mid-season finales always seems to be better than the finales, the show splits itself in two to pad out length, and they start killing off people in stupid ways the further you go in the show. Get back to the zombies for Christ's sake! No Christ's not a zombie, we've been over this! AHHHHH!

That's All For Now... I'll try not to flip out...

Apocalypse How?- Pt. 8- Zombies

Hello Everyone
Morbidly Deceased Here,
So, i'm sure most of you assumed that this would be the first one on the list, assuming you knew about this series beforehand, but I figured i'd save it for later.

So, as for apocalypses, this can be fairly easy, or extremely hard, depends on if it's a book or a video game. Let's start with the classic zombie, it's slow moving, eats flesh, and can only be killed with fire or a bullet to the head. Now let's say the world knows what zombies are, much like our world, then killing the undead would be easy, we'd know how to do it. I know it sounds stupid for someone to assume that the one guy over there trying to eat someone is a zombie and not high on bath salts, but when there's a swarm of them, you can be sure that not everyone wanted to get high. We're willing to believe insane creatures like zombies, and if you don't believe, look at the salem witch hunts, not everyone who accused someone believed in witches, but obviously someone did, or else the whole mess wouldn't have happened. Now, if we didn't know what zombies were, we'd practically be doomed, humanity would be much more likely to fall.

Now, onto the video game zombie, the type that as long as you hit it with enough ammunition/knives/coatracks, you can kill it. But there is a downside, mainly, the variation of zombies. Sure, a hoard of the undead's bad enough, but imagine dealing with something like this:

One explodes and kills you instantly, the other slices you to death, long story short, FUN!!

Although the worst type I've seen would either be "The Blackest Night" or "Marvel Zombies Vol. 1" story arcs from the comics. Each of these include superheroes and supervillains coming back and wrecking havoc on the living. Yeah, that's even worse. Kinda self explanatory.

So, i have no idea which apocalypse i'm doing next but if you have an idea, let me know. I'll try to return this to an avery Friday series.

   That's All For Now...