Hello Everyone
Morbidly Deceased Here...
So I figured since hadn't post in awhile, okay, i'll back it up a little. Sorry about the lack of posts recently, as in all of last month, school was wrapping up and i really needed to focus on that, but now my goal is one post every Friday from now on, this one's just a little early because I had to this sometime or I'd never get around to it.
So, I figured with this long break I had, I should really find out what bugs me about the zombie sub-genre, so here's the top 5, and yes there is some overlap.
5. Zombies Don't Swallow
Okay, yeah it sounds a little weird, but I'm not kidding. Here. don't believe me, here's a quote from "Everything You Need To Know About Zombies" by Matt Mogk (The founder and head of the Zombie Research Society), "Though seemingly simple, the act of swallowing is a complex neuromuscular activity controlled by several different parts of the brain. As it's commonly believed that the zombie brain is low-functioning comparing to that of the average human, evidenced in part by the lack of speech, swallowing may prove to complex a task for a zombie." Maybe this is just my personal preference, but if your going to eat me alive, swallow, show a little respect, don't just chew, seriously man, it toke me 16 years to make all this. Anyways...
4. Zombie Misconceptions
Although I could make a series of posts about this, I'll probably stick to just one for now. Jesus. Was. Not. A. Zombie. Kapeesh? He was what Matt Mogk like to refer to as a "Beer-google Zombie" and Jesus is on the same list as Frankenstein's Monster and Demons (Thank you Evil Dead). All i'm saying is that just because a guy comes back from the dead doesn't make him a zombie. So seriously officer, i did not eat my neighbor! Oops, think i was on a different subject there.
3. Nazi Zombies
Uggggggggghhhhhhhhhh!!! Nuff' said. Next!
2. Brains!
This annoys me mainly because this isn't even how the cannon was. This was something brought upon by "Return of the Living Dead", which was actually the first zombie movie i ever saw, and it scared the living daylights out of me.
Then again, "Zombies want livers! Alcoholics are safe!" doesn't really have a ring to it.
1. The Walking Dead TV Show
Okay, THIS definitely is a series of posts. "But Morbid," you may ask, if you actually cared, "I thought you liked The Walking Dead?" I do, but my issues with the show is a list of it's own. Luckily for me, I started watching the show via it's second season, so it only got better from there no matter which way i went, but there's still problems galore. The mid-season finales always seems to be better than the finales, the show splits itself in two to pad out length, and they start killing off people in stupid ways the further you go in the show. Get back to the zombies for Christ's sake! No Christ's not a zombie, we've been over this! AHHHHH!
That's All For Now... I'll try not to flip out...
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